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Courtesy Wave

Do you ever have a traffic moment where you are the polite driver, and find yourself waiting for a courtesy wave as a thank you?  And then not get one?  Maybe they need to merge completely, maybe the other driver needs a moment to check their field of vision and then they’ll respond to your kind gesture. Your kind, voluntary gesture. And then nothing. No wave. I believe the current translation is ‘left me hanging”

Or, can you recall maybe a time when you were carefree, careless or cavalier, and perhaps not exactly thankful. Then finally hours, days, years, or decades later you have the aha moment? Time to wave! Opps. I have.

Cue the violins. I think as we mature, and then if lucky become parents, these moments happen. On this journey I have had felt a deja vu reaction as flashes of experiences overlap from a child’s perspective to an adults.  Oh dear, oh dear, you know that was? Love.  In so many different ways. And sometimes it takes years to see it.

If you’re lucky your parents are still here to say ‘Thank you” to.  Oh, Dad didn’t really think the crust of every sandwich was the tastiest part? Or truly enjoy (vs. endure) spending Saturday mornings watching Scooby Doo with me? Perhaps Mom would have liked a new winter coat instead of the gear necessary for my first ski season? Or spending hours preparing for the library tea maybe wasn’t exactly her cup of tea?

OMG, did I give a courtesy wave?

When I moved to college. I typed a letter to my parents. (My handwriting, at the most generous, is challenging.)  The letter was to be opened after I left. Aha moments were recognized.  I thanked them for 18 years of love and support, and yes those ski lessons, and much. much more. Courtesy Wave. Whew, finally.  My dad kept a copy folded in his wallet for the rest of his life.

I just had another one of those moments. Aha. What our parents do for us, and continue to do for us. (And I do so hope you feel this too from someone in your life.)   I only spent one summer home after graduating high school. My parents did not redo/reclaim my room. How did I not ever notice until TODAY that my room did not become something else?  A sitting room, an office, a  library, heck even an exercise room. Yes, it was an extra bedroom, but it was my room.  Even after college, and beyond. Even after spending days packing up the house, this realization did not hit me until today. What a gift; this is your room, for you, always.  A comfort at times in my adult life when I needed it.  How nice was that?

And I had been mulling a conversion for office/guest room/place for laundry baskets once we’ve achieved a half-empty nest.  Actually, still mulling . . .

(Now if your parents are around, or an aunt, uncle, sibling, friend or spouse, that has made an ordinary to extraordinary effort to enhance your life, please take a moment to wave now.  I’ll wait, as sometimes it takes me quite a while too.)

Seems like an Oprah worthy moment, “you’ll see it when you’re ready”.  But really, I can be soooo pokey.

So I’m waving again now. And I do hope the view is pretty good from heaven.

Onieda Poster

Edward Bear

I  ordered this poster of an Oneida Silver ad when I was about twelve. It hung in my room and to college and back. Years later sweet young daughter #4 saw it and thought she would fix it by drawing in the missing items.  I took this picture before letting it go earlier this year.

Does that look like a wave to you?

I think so.

2 Thoughts on “Courtesy Wave

  1. I do the courtesy wave all the time when driving. If my mom is in the car with me she will remind me to do the wave which drives me BANANAS as I have been taught to do it and continue to do it into adulthood. Waving in all manners of life is a good thing..lots to be thankful for.

  2. Eggplant on 15 October, 2013 at 9:16 am said:

    SWEET! we all need a reminder to be thankful for what we have & what’s been done for us out of love, support and just plain kindness. Even if we don’t get the thank you wave, we still need to pay it forward as long as we are able.

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